At The End of The Day

…in kicking out of the window people who come into a room and start talking loudly on their respective cellphone. NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU YAKKING AWAY ON YOUR PHONE. I myself am the kind of person who gets out of a room whenever I receive a call.

There was this guy sitting in the next booth who did exactly what I just described… and turned on his speaker phone when it was a girl who’s calling. I mean, how pathetic can a person get? Come on. If you have to announce to the whole world that a girl is calling you, then I bet you my month’s salary that’s the first girl ever to call you.

…that the guy on the newest TROPICANA SLIM SUGAR ad should give me his phone number. God, I swoon whenever that I see the look he gives over the tea cup.

…that Rob Thomas is a miracle. Back when I was still a teenager, I never thought I would fall in love with his kind of music (never to mention the considerably ‘harder-corish’ music that I listen to nowadays). But I fell, and fell hard the first time I saw and listen to Push on MTV. And then 3 AM came along and I was a goner. Matchbox Twenty’s second album is still numero uno on my list of precious things.

(I had the first album on cassette and it had sadly been burned along with the house.)

I just got his album Something To Be - never did encounter an original at any Disc Tara. I would’ve bought the pricey original CD, I tell you. But as it is, I bought a pirated one.

I looked first for the single which I had first saw on MTV as the original soundtrack from ‘Meet The Robinson’. I forgot the title (Ever The Same) and mistakenly thought it was the one called All That I Am.

Was I to be disappointed?

No way. The single All That I Am gave me what, for the sake of appropriateness, I would call a spiritual high. (What I’d really like to call it was spiritual orgasm - but who knows, little 17 year old eyes might be reading this thing - close your eyes, kids, and go do your homework!)

Mrs Rob Thomas, you are one lucky lady!

…that a browsing center should open until midnight. This place that I had made a habit of going to for browsing had recently adopted this idiotic policy to close at 10 PM. Do you want to be in business or what? Turning out costumers… Sheesh, my grandmother would turn in her grave should she ever heard of such a thing.

I thought I was past the age of having a celebrity crush.

Well, it turns out I’m not that old, huh?

I have always waited for Blake’s performance every time I sat down in front of the TV watching American Idol… I mean, even Clay didn’t make me fall in love with the song Mack The Knife but Blakey did.

Still, last week? He blew everybody out of the water.

Here was Jon Bon Jovi telling him (of his version of You Give Love a Bad Name), "..this is adventurous," which was Bon Jovi’s polite way of saying, Dude…! What the heck are you doing? Still, Blake nodded, grinned and said, "I know."

He knew but he still wanted to do it. He had to, I think. He knew some people might hate it but he knew he’d be good at it and boy, was he right.

It was a huge risk and by God, it paid. Big time.

As always, Simon said it. "You are a very brave young man."

You know what it’s like to finally found what you are great at and taking up a huge challenge to see if you can break into excellence?

I was never a risk taker. My cousin Jim once observed when we were playing Bullshit (a card game, for God’s sake!) that I "..play it safe." You’d bet I wouldn’t want to risk anything in my real life, right?

Still, over the couple of years, as they have to, obstacles came my way. From time to time I found myself thinking of turning my back and go the other way. And yet another thought popped into my head, "What if you go on with all these difficulties and win? What if you still win despite all that?" I don’t put my neck out there too many times but when I see something with a lot of obstacles and hurdles, I find myself thinking of the satisfaction of overcoming all those things.

And, you know what, I did win. And man, the feeling.

And to see a man doing that… well, what’s a girl to do but fall in love?

Go Blake!

So I was eating dinner at this deli and happened to watch the usual, mind-numbing goody-goody "sinetron" (electronic cinema or what’s best described as local soaps).

I didn’t catch it from the beginning, still it doesn’t matter at all. The story went stupidly predictable and so lame, I thanked God my dinner was very delicious, I didn’t have to puke it out.

What bothered me was this. The heroine’s father was berating her when I first caught it, telling her she must never marry her boyfriend - at least not before Daddy died.

So. Let me ask you then. If it were you, what would you do?

You’d be mad at your Dad, I think. Fuming, bitching to your friends, confronting your Dad and what have you. Maybe you’re one of the types to be patient about it and try to look as if it’s OK and think for another way to persuade your Dad otherwise. Good for you.

But would you mope about it, locking yourself in your room and refuse to eat?

I’m telling you now, if there are any of you who think that that is one of the many options for you: it’s absolutely moronic.

It’s blackmailing your Mom and rebelling towards your Dad. Plain and simple.

What was maddening to me was the fact that the sinetron portrayed this as a courageous act of the heroine, as if it was a right thing to do. Courageous my foot. There was even this sickening scene of the heroine saying this to her Mom, when confronted with her disinclination to eat, "If Daddy says I have to wait for him to die to marry my love then maybe I should starve to death."

Put it this way, in writing (not using the innocent face of a young star, crying her little blackmailing heart out), you can see it’s downright extortion, right? Let me marry him, otherwise you’ll have my blood on your hands.

Only slightly higher in morality than terrorist: I’m going to kill someone because you won’t give me what I want.

Bullshit.

If you kill someone, it’s always on you.* Even if it’s slow suicide.

What’s wrong with this country is that we are airing this kind of thing as daily consumption, masquerading as religious shows. Makes you wonder how low a country can go, right?

OK., so it gets high rating. I’m not going to preach about abandoning that - everybody’s got to earn a living. But the least the government can do is to rule it out of the religious scope and put it into the category it deserves: crap.

*) Self defense aside.

Minggu ini cocoknya dinamain Minggu Kenangan kali yee…

Because of one thing and another, gw kemaren-maren keinget lagi ‘ma my darlin’ slave. (Jangan tanya deh, dari mana tu nama dateng, panjang cerita!) Pokoke keinget dah… trus sempat sedih juga, karena kangen. Dan juga masih menyesali… kenapa gak jodoh ya…

I remember the times when you used to fantasize about how our live together would be and say, "I wish this could be true…" and I feel the same mystification: why? Why couldn’t it be?

Heh, trus tadi pas lagi nunggu nasi goreng di tempat Ipoel, kucuk-kucuk dateng cowok yg bujubuneng mirip banget ‘ma my Lil Boss. Gw sampe mangap-mangap ga pecaya… Sumpe, mirip banget. Dari depan, dari samping, dari belakang, dari tadi juga mirip banget!!!
Cuma ni cowok muluz gitu tampangnya, sedang si Boss terakir gw liat sedang manis-manisnya miara jerawat dua biji. Hehehe.

Lagi melankolis nih… Lagi mikirin kos lama juga, kangen banget pengen bisa "pulang."
Gak bisa bilang kerasan di kos yang baru - cuma gw juga dah gak gampang ngamuk-ngamuk lagi (abis aer dah nyala 24 jam seh, coba kalo belom…) Pokoke, intinya sih, gw dah pasrah lah, kos baru gak seasik yg dulu. Cuman kalo bisa sih, maunya tetap di kos yg dulu.

En kayanya bentar lagi gw bisa nih… Tunggu aja kabar selanjutnya ye…

Recently a student of mine uttered an opinion that sent me spiralling into eddies of heavy pondering, trying to convince him otherwise.

He was not an ignorant young thing, far from it - and yet this rethorical question he posed to the class bothered me because the thoughts behind it might lead him to that direction.

"Why are we studying all of these things? Wouldn’t it be enough to study cost and profit and that’d be it? After all, those are all I need later."

I looked at him, an earnest student who I knew never missed a lesson and study dilligently, maximising his bright minds, hoping to be a businessman someday.

Why?

I beat myself everyday because I feel I can never make any student see that everything, yes, everything you study in your long, boring hours of school will someday prove useful to you.

I am not saying this because I happen to be a teacher - I’m saying it because it’s true. I had difficulties back in school too but even then there were a lot of times where I found myself amazed by the enlightment I acquired through a teacher’s explaination, a paragraph I read in a textbook or a comment made by another student.

Furthermore, there were even more chances where I found myself thinking, "Jeez, I remembered this from Junior High… What a disaster it would’ve been if I’d somehow forgotten it!"

As a student, I was most enamoured by Math. To me it was the most superior subject. In my later years, it has proven a help to many things I endeavour to do. Statistic, pattern even prediction - were I a non-Christian, Math would be my god.

I used to sit blankly during hours of History, Geography… any social studies. I thought them boring, useless and aimless. All the same, I was hungry for things out there - something I always associate with living in the middle of nowhere. I was hungry to know about the world, so I guess information simply came into my mind and stayed there.

I was partly right when I thought social studies taught in school were useless, basing my thoughts on the idea that social conditions change all the time. Yet, those things taught to me in school drew my attention to the changes that happen and kept me up to date with current affairs.

When I first came out into the world, some people would dismiss me, seemingly because of my youthful face or perhaps they thought of me merely as a pretty young thing. Hope I’m not making an ass of myself here.. but true or not, I don’t know; that’s the impression I got.

Still, I found myself able to carry conversations with people, most of the time even able to impress them and changed their opinion about me. And for all that, I give the credit to the education I got at school.

Vive le school!

What the hell was wrong with me?

My classes for today were supposed to be Basic 3, AES and a private class in the evening. What did I do, though?

I prepared myself for YAC 6 and AES - not remembering at all that I have YAC 6 on Tuesday-Thursday. Great.

And if I hadn’t been nice (Ha) and hadn’t gone downstairs to get the attendance folders, I wouldn’t have found it out. I would’ve gone on merrily on my way, thinking I was done preparing all of my classes. Now I had only half an hour to prepare for Basic 3. God.

When I told him about it, pRetty Boy told me to relax - even though I’m quite certain he had no idea WHAT A DISASTER IT WAS. Thank God you’re pretty - otherwise, I would’ve folded you into an envelope and mailed you to Alaska.

Although, much to my surprise, I wasn’t as panicky as I supposed I would be. Perhaps because I knew it wouldn’t be so difficult preparing for this particular Basic 3 meeting or because perhaps, I’ve grown more mature (most unlikely!!!)

Long weekend… almost over. Hiks.

I had just finished with the ‘big project’ (and gotten the payment) Thurday last week and was superglad I made it that far, that I wasn’t even resenting the fact I would be the last to go home that day due to my evening class.

Note to self: NEVER again take a translation job for as long as you are still a full-timer at the office.

The evening class’ guys had my hopes high when they still didn’t arrive at 7.30, only to squash them dead by arriving one by one at 7.35-7.40. By then, everybody had left but Esther, I think.

Anyway, by the time I finished, everybody’s gone. Still, I was too tired and relieved to even think about it. Was about to sink myself into a chair and sleep well into the next millenium when I got startled by the sound of the office door’s being opened.

I was rather surprised because noone was supposed to come in at such time. Sam doesn’t usually clean up at 9. Either 8.30 or well past 9 - when our room’s completely empty.

It was pRetty Boy.

He was coming to get me. I didn’t realise it until later that there was absolutely noone left upstairs but me.

Silly boy. Such thing doesn’t scare me in the least but it was nice of him.

He waited around while I put things away. At one point he jokingly turned off the lights, thinking I’d be scared - not knowing what a horribly dangerous position he’d put himself into! Ha.

Anyway, that was thoughtful of him. What a sweet way to end a very long day.

The rest of my holiday didn’t go on as good as it had started. The person who had ruined my days by starting off nasty rumours recently came back with new ways to mess things up and hurt me.

I wish she would just leave me alone.

To take my mind off things, I went out. Simply going to get dinner was difficult because I was so distraught, I had make an effort to even talk to people.

Sigh. When was it that life hadn’t been this complicated?

Am reading Frank McCourt’s ‘Tis. Cursed myself that I didn’t get his Angela’s Ashes when I got the chance a while back. Was too busy trying to buy as many thriller as I could I told myself Angela could wait. Now when do you think I could get a chance to go to Kinokunia and buy Angela?

I got ‘Tis by a lucky chance at Kharisma, Puri Indah Mall. It has started stocking salable novels at the end of last year and I stopped by from time to time to see if I could pick up something worthwhile.

Have been following American Idol and was surprised last night that Gina Glocksen was sent home. Ahead of Haley. That girl should’ve been on her way long ago. Anyway, just for the record, I hope Blake wins.

Looking forward to watching hubby Iker this morning. Soon it’ll be Monday again and I have an early class at 8 AM. Sigh.

Happy Easter, everyone. God bless you all.

Big day at the office today!

It was Ciledug’s Competition 2007. I was hosting the Hit & Score
game and Jerry later told me, "Shirley, I believe you were talking
non-stop for an hour and a half!" (True, too)

We had a lot to do beforehand - what with the volleyball field had to
be prepared and all. In no time everybody was breaking a sweat,
including pRetty Boy. Still, much later when all of the competitions
had finished, I leaned in and took a sniff, "How come you still smell
so good?"

He looked extremely pleased. "Really? Could be the Trika I’m using
though." Ha. Trying to be modest when I knew how vain he can be.

Then he took the snack box out and asked if I’d like to be fed.

I melted on the spot.

Sigh. Just said goodbye an hour ago and already I’m missing him a lot.

He got someone to take our picture too, just the two of us… but my office just isn’t a safe place to take a photograph. As soon as a camera is taken out, everybody will pile up in front of it. And that’s what happened. Mau ‘tak sobek-sobek aja rasanya.

Huh.

HE… ORANG-ORANG GAK TAU DIRI!!!

Brengsek. Gw denger beritanya sekitar 2-3 hari lalu dan sambil marah-marah gak karuan, gw berasa pengen ngelempar laptop (pinjeman) gw.

Bagi yang mungkin belum denger, monyet-monyet di DPR barusan dikasi lagi fasilitas laptop, yang menelan biaya Rp 12 M. Alasannya standar, untuk meningkatkan kinerja angggota dewan.

Heh, monyong. Dateng rapat aja males-malesan… BASI, tau ngak. Ngasal aja kasi alasan… emang lu pikir kita ini orang-orang idiot apa, asal ngejawab, mentang-mentang putusannya dah gak bisa diganggu-gugat. Setan. Walaupun buat gw, yang pantas mengutuk itu cuma Tuhan, dalam kasus ini gw pengen banget bisa ngutuk itu orang-orang DPR.

Keenakan.

Dipikirnya dia dewan tertinggi, putusan dia selalu mutlak dan tidak bisa diganggu gugat, seenaknya aja bikin kebijakan. Lihat aja, mungkin 5 tahun mendatang, mereka tinggal dateng nyatronin rumah kita, minta duit. Lha wong makin hari, makin gak tau malu. Siapa tau kan?

Sekarang masih berkedok program ini-itu, masi ngasi alasan bego… Siapa yang tau, makin ari makin nekad - enak aja langsung ngambil.

Gaya pulak, ngomongnya untuk meningkatkan kinerja, emang selama ini pada ngapain sih? Kalo ada polling jujur tentang kinerja DPR, gw yakin hasilnya AMAT SANGAT TIDAK PUAS.

Lha di rapat pada cerita-cerita, ngetik SMS… Orang kalo memang niat kerja, ada laptop gak ada laptop juga jadi aja.

Si siapa itu, yang ahli informatika nasional, dia juga bilang ngapain beli yang semewah itu, lha wong makenya aja gak bisa. See? Katro, ndeso…! Gaya, beli laptop.  Dan yang gw denger, anggarannya itu (seperti biasanya) di-mark up. Jadi belinya itu yang semahal-mahalnya. Yang mestinya 7-8 juta dapat, mereka belinya yang di atas itu.

As*holes.

Bikin darah gw naik. Kalo make barang (atau duit) orang tu harus tau diri. TAU DIRI. Ngakunya aja orang terpelajar padahal norak. Kalo bisa dihemat, ya hemat. Jangan mentang-mentang bisa dipake trus suka-suka. Sial.

Bottom line is, there is something seriously wrong about the system where the House can decide such things, i.e. enriching themselves. I propose that new regulations be established where the reps are confined to making decisions that deals with and ONLY with the welfare of the people.

What underline the wrongness here is that it is only the House itself who can establish such rules and I don’t think we can hold our breath waiting for that to happen.

Working is always the way out.

I just heard last week that someone I’m supposed to trust, someone I should’ve been able to count on had spreadt a spiteful, nasty, untruthful rumor about me.

And to think that she told such horrible lies to the people I care most… It was very devastating to me. I mean, I know, even best friends can sometimes turn nasty against each other (though it has never happened to me, thank God) - sisters or brothers, spouses… But this is way beyond that. Beyond my comprehension.

And I find it very difficult to talk about. Because while a part of me always thinks that nobody would believe what happened, another part also thinks that it’s a terrible shame for me that that person has the heart to do that to me.

And it was worse than the previous events because I found out about this one right before the long weekend. I have always been averse to holidays for exactly this reason. Holidays give you the chance to brood about problems and troubles and if you let it gets under your skin, you’re toast.

I had a project to finish, thank God, so I spent most of my weekend doing it. Pretty Boy was there too, watching my every move as I typed my work into a word processor.

Him being there and reminding me of how nervous I can be around someone I like, really took my thoughts away from those painful things she had generated.

Anyway, I distracted him with the dictionary and soon he was immersing himself in measurement tables (of all things) and resurfacing from time to time to pester me with questions.

I’m back to work again today and the world seemed to have settled back to its axis. What a wonder a group of 12 screaming 7 year-olds can do to calm your nerves.

I’ve found a great site to perv on Iker (click here if you’re one of his salivating female fans). Been browsing on the hundreds of great pics available there and I realised that Iker and I have the same habit: we touch our ears a lot. I do that when I am slightly uncomfortable or when I want some time to think - wonder what his reason is.

This site also commented on how vocal Iker had lately been about the performance of the defenders. I think he is wholly justified. The defenders were a complete DISGRACE. They should never play alongside someone as good as my Iker. Huh.

What’s good about Iker is that he hardly ever blames anyone else when Real Madrid concedes a goal. It was a split second of a display of disappointment on his own performance and then back into the game again. The time to pound on the defenders was always during the attack - never after a goal has been conceded. So if he starts to voice complaints about the way the defenders work now, I think it’s about time. More power to you, caro mio.