At The End of The Day

…that when I just said that I hoped a bad week happened only once a year, it repeated itself immediately?

…that a simple, clean white shirt, great jeans and black boots can make you look like a million dollar? True and tested, guys. But well, you also have to look like me.Ha!

…that I am eternally given fancy accessories? Me, who thinks of accessories and candies as the world’s greatest waste? They don’t do any harm, true, but all the same, they clutter places and do nothing useful.
I am willing to be convinced about accessories, though. I like my new charm bracelet. It moves and jingles and makes me feel very feminine. (Normally I feel masculine, hahaha.)

…that I, who used to be the fattest girl in the family, now have to spend half an hour to choose a bracelet which fits my wrist? There were lots of them I liked but alas, they were all too big for me.

…that someone who got to the Hot Seat of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? didn’t know where euthanasia was first made legal? Worse yet, he admitted to not knowing what euthanasia meant! There’s a limit to ignorance, man, and that is not talking about it!

…that beautiful, talented women sometimes end up doing worthless things? Julia Stiles for one, everybody knows she’s smart and she’s got lots of talents, so why all those stupid movies? And, Jessica Alba (my twin), doing 2006 MTV Movie Awards.
I know it’s cool to some people, just like some people think that Into The Blue rocks. But to me, they both suck.

…that one of the best teachers in the world is a guy? We are all so wrapped up in the notion that women are better educators, in my personal opinion it’s bordering on discrimination. Why, the institution I work for recently advertised for female-only teachers. I know there are some psychological theories behind all that. It’s just that I wish we could keep an open mind, you know.

…that a beautiful, smart girl like me can get depressed? But I do. I got me another book by Nora Roberts, Chesapeake Blue, and after reading half of it through the early hours of the morning, I thought, I can never write something like this! Arggghhh!

Additional
Isn’t it ironic that the best of them usually have to wait a long time? Congratulations to cie Ling and ko Harry for your soon-to-come son, Gabriel Marvel. I don’t see any other couple making better parents than the two of you.

(And you’ve stopped smoking too. Finally. Way to go, Gabriel!)

Do you know those days when you feel like everything just goes wrong?

It’s been a long time since I last felt that way but for last Tuesday. It’s also been a long time since I last felt my temper was so short, I could just blow my top any second. Not exactly everything goes wrong, though, it’s more like everybody conspire to get my goat. Even Bang Ipoel, who should’ve known better!

First, I found out that the origami swans Wisnu made for me had gone missing. They had always been there and then suddenly they were no more.
Not in my best mood, the children who knew I was the least friendly suddenly decided to flock around me, asking me endless questions and simply hung around my desk. Was it because they know I was about to lose my temper?

And then…

What was good about last week was the fact that I didn’t have to go and teach my private students. Not having to stay at her house anymore has been a relief - it was tiring. But not having to go at all was even better!

No Ms Endang to lend me novels has taken its toll. I am reduced to reading The Hardy Boys. It’s not that bad though. Just like the Famous Five. Only I wouldn’t have touched such things had Ms Endang still been around.

I think this is one of the most important points in the history of Shirley’s life: I am actually bored. (Please note that, Sec. Shirley, for once in her life, is experiencing boredom.)

I miss the guys back in Grogol. Here when I go back home, there’s nobody to talk to. Win calls, so does Gun - but as I have always maintained, talking on the phone is different (read=I don’t like phone calls, hehehe).

If I had been asked that a month ago, I would’ve said No. Not at all.

But now, I’m not so sure.

I know I did a lot of mistakes in the past but I’ve never felt like going back, wanting them to never happen. All those mistakes helped build a person that I am today.

This is the first time I wish I had never made a mistake. It was so stupid, so obvious a mistake that in the rare times of clarity, I find myself wondering, "What in the f*cking hell were you thinking? How on Earth could you let yourself into that mess?"

I used to pity people with regrets, thinking they’ve lost the only good thing that a mistake gives you, which is a lesson. But now I think I know what it’s like.

Jeez. I wish to God I could go back and undo everything. I wish it had never happened at all.

Listening to: Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance

Cih… Di sini kecil banget. Berasa nggak bisa cerewet, hahaha.

Masih mo komplain nih… Minta ampun, gw tau Ciledug emang dah di luar kota. Tapi sekarang kan dah dihuni oleh salah satu selebriti papan atas (genteng), masa bedak favorit tu seleb nggak dijual di satupun toko-toko deket sini?
Gimandang dong? Kan kecantikan gw berkurang nol koma dua lima persen gara-gara gak pake tu bedak! Untung cuma segitu. Mo taro mana muka gw kalo sampe ketangkap paparazzi pas kecantikan gw berkurang sepuluh persen? Untungnya yang kaya gitu gak mungkin terjadi.

Lanjut. Komplain nomer dua. Gak ada makanan banget gak sih, di sini!
Masa tiap ari gw makan Nasi Goreng Bang Ipoel aka Nasi Goreng Bahasa Inggris. Untung dia enak, jadi gw betah-betah aja. Selain tu Nasgor, sehari-hari gw makannya kalo gak POPMIE, roti srikaya Sari Roti. Kualat gw, suka nyumpahin si Sari Roti, sekarang gw mesti makanin dia ‘mulu.

Hiks. Grogol-ku tercinta. Kenapa kutinggalkan dirimu?

MInggu sore gini, gw tinggal pilih aja. Mo jajan pempek, ada ujung gang. Mo makan lengkap, ada warung pojok yang uenaknya minta ampun… plus murah meriah. Nasi ayam plus sayur: goceng. Mo jajan cakwe, ada deket Indomart. Bakmi Bangka, ada si Engko. Iye, dia di Tanjung Duren tapi pokoke deket en easily accessed. Di sini? Masa gw mesti ke rumah Jimmy dulu, demi untuk makan Bakmi 777?
Dah jalan ke sananya reseh, nggak langsung nyampe lagi. Mesti jalan kaki dulu.

Malam-malam, gw pengen Soto Betawi, ada langganan gw pas depan jalan tempat gw turun bus. Tinggal ngomong, "Biasa, Mas," langsung tersaji soto ayam santan favorit gw plus nasi en Teh Botol. Pengen ketoprak? Ada deket ATM BCA. Pengen Chinese Food? Ada deket toko si Gober Bebek. (Lagi pengen banget nih, puyunghai, hiks.) Ayam bakar? Siomai murah-meriah? Ada. Martabak telor; martabak manis? Adaaaa. Kurang apa lagi?

Bosen makan di luar (baca=duit dah cekak akhir bulan)? Tinggal masak. Nasi goreng a la Ey, jadi. Omelet a la gw juga jadi. Indomie spesial Ey, beres. Hot dog Ey spesial, sandwich super Ey… macam-macam deh. (Wow. Gw dah bisa ya, buka resto.) Kalo gak ada telor, pinjem punya mbak. Gak ada bawang, garam atau lain-lainnya, nyolong punya si mbak Unyil. Beres. Huhuhu… Kenapa sih, gw mesti pindah ke ujung dunia begini?

Karena sumber duit ada di sini. Hahaha. Plus murid-murid gw yang ganteng-ganteng dan cantik-cantik. Dan… hampir lupa, temen-temen sekantor gw yang kurang ganteng dan kurang cantik.
Benernya sih, mereka OK-OK aja. Cuma kalo dah dibandingin ama gw, ya nggak adil. Gitu.

Oya, walopun gw tidurnya telat banget, kaya biasa - jam 10 tadi gw bela-belain bangun bentar untuk nonton Oprah.
Kesian ya, cewek-cewek di Amrik sono. Masa dari survei 3000 orang, cuma 2% yang merasa dirinya cantik? Hanya 13% yang puas dengan raut mukanya dan 17% yang puas dengan bentuk dan berat badannya.

Huahh. Coba dia survei ke Teachers’ Room ILP Ciledug. Yang 2% bisa jadi 102%, hahaha.

Si Zaky, dah rambutnya model pak Kades gitu, gampang banget lagi berantakan. Biasa kalo dia abis solat, trus rambutnya disisir tangan gitu, jadi deh, sarang burung. (Sayang gak bisa dijual.) Jaman gw masi inosen dulu, gak tau kalo ni orang gila, gw bilangin gitu, biar dia sadar, "Oh God, Zaky, your hair…!"
Dia buru-buru ke depan lemari yang jendelanya pake kaca (bukan cermin). Maklum orang jaman Majapahit, nggak kenal cermin. Sumpah, rambutnya sama sekali nggak presentable. Kalo kaya gitu pas masi training jadi teacher, dia pasti dah dikartumerahin. Langsung batal… batal, jadi teacher!
"Oh God," dia ngomong. "I’m so handsome!" Gubrak.

Udahan dulu ah. Mo beli makan nih. Gak jelas makan apa. Tadi ke sini emang mo beli makan, tapi dah gak tau ni makan siang apa malem, hehehe. Hasta la vista!

Wuah… Pitas en Yahoo menyebalkan… bikin gw mesti repot "pindahan" lagi. Kemaren dari Grogol ke Ciledug, sekarang Pitas ke Friendster.

World Cup’s over, with the Cup going to Italy. OK, OK, Italy’s statistic is good and all that… but I’d much prefer it if Zidane had gotten it. And I don’t care what other people might say about the incident with Materazzi, he’s still my hero!

It was embarrassing; it could’ve been, and should’ve been, avoided but I personally believe Materazzi deserved the header. Or as DeeDee put it, "…and a kick on his shin and another one up his balls!"

Am still testing the water here, see if the turnout is as good as Pitas, so I’ll save the gossips for later, OK, folks? Hope you’ll enjoy my postings here.